It seems like just yesterday that we found out we were pregnant for the first time. I had thrown up several mornings in a row, and even though I was on the pill, Aaron was sure I was pregnant. I thought he was crazy. So he HIMSELF drove to the grocery store to buy a test since I wouldn't believe him. Though I definitely wanted kids at some point, having only been married for four months ... I almost threw up again when I saw the + show up on the stick! I'm so happy that I'm a mom, even though I didn't feel old enough or like I was ready for it. I'm learning to look at life with fresh eyes - the excitement of waking up to unexpected snow, the simple pleasure that can come from an empty cardboard box.
It's both amazing and a bit saddening how quickly our kids grow up. I've been going through our closets (aka storage) this past week and this morning finally tackled the one in Alex's room which has old diaper boxes filled with his clothes from each former size. I remember when I put the very first onesie in the very first box, and now Harrison's already worn and outgrown the clothes in two of the boxes. Originally I wanted four kids. Because of my health problems I'm finished at two, and I've finally come to terms with that (I think I have, anyway). So each fuss, each poopy diaper I try to think, "that's the last one I'll hear/have to change of a child this age." Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not excited when it comes time to wrangle my active 10 month old, in a futile attempt to wipe his tush before he flips and crawls away at lightening speed. It's just that I'm awestruck that the time is going by so quickly.
December was a really busy month for us - as I'm sure it was for you too. Last night we finally found (or made) the time to do our final Christmas gift exchange with some friends. It had been a long time since we'd gotten together - far too long. Alex absolutely adores one of the gifts he received in particular - a blow-up car with balls in it. This morning when I watched him playing in it again, I suddenly had a flash-forward (can I make up that word?) of him when he's 16 and asking for the keys to our car, or begging for a car of his own.
He's going to grow up so quickly. I need to make sure that I MAKE the time for him now - the time to nurture him, to love on him, and to ignore the dirty dishes while I just PLAY with him. I'm sure there will come a time when he doesn't want me around - it's called being a teenager. But I want him to have the good memories of us having fun, of us bonding, of us talking about how our days were (at work, at school, etc.). I want him to WANT to come back and continue having a meaningful relationship with his parents. I don't mean that I want to be his "buddy" - I'm his mother. But I want to do what I can now so that I'll stay his mom, not just the woman who birthed him. I don't want our life to reflect the song "Cats in the Cradle."
#55 - Get me off this mountain
7 years ago