I'm a full-time wife and mom of two adorable boys. When I'm not busy trying to keep up with them I enjoy photography, traveling, planning parties and a little bit of reading.

In February of 2008 I was diagnosed with an incurable terminal lung illness, though God promised me a full and complete healing. While we wait for His timing, we're taking it one day at a time, and standing in awe of how God's using all of this for His glory. The tough road we've traveled has given us a new perspective on the fragility of life. Memories are more important to us than ever before. The goal of this blog is to share some of our family life - the ups and downs, the joys and probably some of the pains as well. It's mostly meant as a personal journal of sorts, but you're welcome to share in it. We'd like to take this opportunity to say ...


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

in my mind's eye...

I love parties.  Let me say it again ...
I love parties!  

My husband really enjoys hanging out with people, and my Alex asks me (usually once a week) when our next party will be.  I'm so blessed by the men in my life!  ... For the past 2 years my goal has been to work up to one party a month - each with a different theme / atmosphere.  (I've also been sick the past 2 years so some of the "parties" have had to be dinner parties rather than elaborate-invite-the-whole-town events.  (Right now I'm also trying to work into our schedules one overnight guest / family each month.  We're doing pretty well on that goal - 4 of the next 5 weekends involve friends coming to visit, or us going to visit them!)

I grew up with parties - LOTS of parties - dinner parties, buffets, after-church dinner with random couples (or visitors) at church, picnics - lots and LOTS of parties.  Recently my mother planned a party at her house, and got about 40 RSVPs - over 85 showed up.  We were out-of-town (at a prior commitment), and didn't make it to the party - and I'm so sad that I missed that one!  I think the love of parties was passed to me in utero. (Thank you, mom!)

I daydream about parties - I don't shop for clothes, I shop for things I can use (one way or another) for parties.  When we were house-hunting I seriously considered each property in terms of party potential - parking, flow of the house, type and size of the deck, and any trees in the back yard I could hang lanterns / candles from and set a table underneath for a dinner party.  We didn't know anyone in the area at that point, but I knew I'd want a "party house."  Sigh.  I. LOVE. PARTIES.

I know that a party is made (or NOT made) based on the people who are there, and what kind of frame of mind they're in - how well they mix with each other, etc.  A lot of that is out of my control - so I love planning the environment and food.  In my mind's eye, here's what my parties look like.

One day I'll throw a party on that scale.  One day I'll have the energy for that kind of prep work! (My sister is AMAZING at party cooking - she inherited that gene from my dad who went to culinary school.  If she and I ever got together, we'd throw a KILLER party!)  But, until God heals my lungs - and gives me more energy - or makes us independently wealthy so I could hire someone to do the work for me ... those types of parties are gonna have to stay in my mind's eye.

I've come to decide that parties really DON'T have to be elaborate to be highly enjoyable.  It's taken me years to come to terms with this concept.  Of course all those special little touches mean so much to those who attend ... everyone women feel extra special when someone took the time to create a nice atmosphere just because they were coming over.  And the parties I throw in my head are spectacular, over-the-top, talk-of-the-town events.  But that's simply not reality (yet, anyway. ha!).  Reality in the Feitner household doesn't have enough physical energy for that.  

I've only thrown 2 parties (and 3 dinner parties) on Dogwood so far - and the same people were invited to both parties.  We really need to get to get to know more people better!  But, just like Frances (Diane Lane) in "Under the Tuscan Sun" - I've come to realize that I don't need lots of people to continue having parties - I can just involve the people I do know.  As we get to know more people better, our group can enlarge.  So - watch out Pittsburgh - Julia's parties are back!  

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