I've been tired lately - just plain tired. My house is a wreck, my floors are filthy, my kids just ran out of clean clothes .... and I'm too tired to do anything about it. I phoned the doctor's office earlier this week (about something else), and was asked how I'm doing. I had to answer honestly - I'm just plain exhausted AGAIN!
This time I think it's because I lost (and kept off) 6 pounds from when I was walking on the treadmill in January. I don't have the energy to even LOOK at the treadmill at the moment, let alone get on it! So, I lost the weight, and now my medicine's slightly more potent (there's an extremely fine line with these drugs between helpful dosages and harmful ones).
But at my last appointment, the doctor told me that if this "doesn't work" then I'm going to have to be readmitted to the ICU in Pittsburgh and switched to a different iv medicine. I really don't want to do that - I don't want to EVER have to face another ICU unit! But, if he tells me to, then I will. I think that my medicine just needs to be bumped down a little bit. But so far he's refused to do that. Anyway - the doctor's out of the office this week, so I'm going to have to wait till next week to see what his response is. So as I wait I'm a bit nervous. I've been praying about it A LOT, and am trusting God to give him wisdom as what to do or what not to do. But, the waiting game isn't always easy.
In today's mail was a card, on which was printed exactly what I needed to hear today. Here are the words:
Dear Jesus, thank you for this day. I pray that you will fill it with blessings for this one who is special to you and to me. Bring peace, joy, hope - all the good things you have to give. May your presence be felt in each moment because you are always near and you love us so much! (And inside is written.....) The Lord's love never ends; his mercies never stop. They are new every morning. Lamentations 3:22,23 (NCV)
I think it's not a coincidence that such encouraging words of God's love and mercies are written in the book who's whole theme is "lamentations" - the act of expressing grief. Even in the midst of sadness, wailing and mourning, we're supposed to "stop and smell the flowers" and remember anew that each and every day we can see the hand of our almighty and MERCIFUL God as He pours out His limitless LOVE for us. Even though I'm tired, and sad that I don't have the energy I had six weeks ago, I'm still supposed to look for the GOOD God's pouring out in my life.
This card has given me enough encouragement to keep going - at least for today. Tomorrow I'll keep my eyes open for how God will show His love/mercy to me. Thank you, dear one, for following God's prompting and sending it to me, and posting it when you did. God's timing is always perfect!
#55 - Get me off this mountain
7 years ago